FlourVonSponge

I love baking. My body doesn’t. I haven’t visited the weighing scales-land for about 6 months yonks now. I have a crazy friend called Spiker who is helping me fuel this mad desire to feed the world cakes. The world will succumb and I will be victorious. In a year’s time, men will fall at my feet because I make awesome cinnamon rolls.

P.S. I already make awesome cinnamon rolls. It’s just that it would probably take a year to get a collective of men to fall at my feet because of my cinnamon rolls. I think.

Please form an orderly queue. I can’t abide chaos.

I am a recovering midwife and endured by my guitar god husband, Slaveboy and 7 children who are home educating themselves. Occasionally I have to go on feral patrol and delouse them and rein them in a little. We live in Chichester, West Sussex and are about to embark on an exciting new venture – a teashop with a community feel!

In my spare time (snort), I can be found causing human pile-ups at the Portsmouth Roller Wenches Roller Derby weekly training. I also can be spotted at the Brighton Tattoo Convention with my cupcake stall.

I’m a writer waiting for the right column. I’d like to write about naughty flour confections, anarchy parenting and my midlife Bonnie & Clyde adventures with Slaveboy.

In my past life, I used to help little people out as an Independent Midwife. My departure from midwifery is partly an open expression of the middle finger FUCK YOU to the Nursing & Midwifery Council, who aren’t protecting the public nor their membership. No longer will I allow you to validate my existence as a midwife.