It’s 8 a.m. as I’m writing this and I’m awake in bed with the 7th Wonder who won’t let me go, By this time, I should be in the gym attempting to deadlift 50kg. I’ve been mentally preparing myself for that weight. It’s so within my grasp I could almost feel the pinch of the barbell in my hands and smell the iron on the barbell. This weightlifting program I am on does take me out of my comfort zone, away from the weights machines (they’re No-No’s) and into the realm of the free weights, the power cage and 7 foot Olympic barbell. The part of the gym heavily populated by men throwing weights (not their own) about and grunting much.
And this is the part where I tell you I am not a natural earth mother. I’m a ferocious, protective but not selfless mother persona. I don’t yearn to have my child physically attached to me all the time but in reality, my child does for the most part I am around her. I don’t sleep well at night with her in bed with me but we both would sleep worse if she weren’t in bed with me so bedshare we do. Hence Slaveboy doesn’t get into bed until well after one a.m. as the 7th Wonder does her best to kick him all the time she is awake.
7th Wonder will be fifteen months old on the 18th of this month and she still suffers from inconsolable terrors. And because she had a shaky start to her life and the added initial prognosis of a lifelong disability (all theoretical and based on universal findings rather than specific to her), both Slaveboy and I from time to time cannot help but think that these are all related. Rather than rejoicing the fact that she is healthy, we deliberate on the details. She’s not walking yet. She’s short. She’s small. She only has three and a half teeth (I don’t even know what the norm here is) and even the fact that she is practically bald! The mole on her back must be malignant. And whilst I’m at it, her ears are massive and she has a gap between her two front teeth.
But when she has her terrors, it’s like she doesn’t even see me. And it tears Slaveboy to shreds as it takes us back to when she was six days old and floppy and unconscious.
Can you see how ridiculous we can get at times? Our experience with her in her first few weeks of life have taught us to look for her minor ‘imperfections’ (shock, shock, horror, horror, yes, I did actually say that). A cold can never be just a cold and a fever is some unrelenting resistant infection.
But thank the Universe for big brothers and sisters. All the above don’t even figure into the equation. To them, the 7th Wonder is what she is at present and revel in the now-ness of her. The future to them is some fuzzy, pixelated, ever in the horizon and non-present (which is probably why they moan so much when I shout at them to tidy their mess). She’s poo-ace, brat, horrid, speshul (derogatory as it may seem) but more often than not, awesome sauce. They’ve taught her to head bang, do the mash, make constructions out of cheesy wotsits licked together and appreciate Pink, Taylor Swift and Tiny Tempah.
And I’m sort of getting the vibe that you are reading this and looking at the photos and thinking, What is she on about? There’s nothing wrong with that child.
And you’re probably right. So indulge me with this self gratifying blog post which will go a long way in reassuring me at some crazy a.m. when I am awake with the 7th Wonder.
And maybe you won’t judge me too harshly when you find out that I allowed her to have some chocolate cake for second breakfast this morning.
It’s a poor man’s one bowl chocolate cake. It won’t win awards or spur your lover in wanton passion but it might cure your need for cake and for me, might mean that the baby bother someone else whilst I drink my tea.
400g caster sugar
220g plain flour
70g cocoa powder
1 tsp salt
1 1/2tsp Baking powder
1 1/2tsp Bicarbonate of soda
2 eggs, room temperature
120ml sunflower oil
1tbsp vanilla extract
230ml black coffee
-Preheat oven to 175C. Grease two 9inch cake tins.
-Mix all the dry ingredients together.
-Add the wet ingredients and mix for two minutes at medium high speed.
-Divide mixture evenly between the two cake tins.
-Bake for 30-35 minutes until the top springs back.
-Cool and sandwich with your favourite icing.