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Mini Epiphanies of the Week


It’s been one of those weeks. Too tedious to go into with great detail so I am going to share with you reasons why I’m still smiling.

1. The Small Shouty One and I were having a surreal conversation about superpowers. She was lamenting how despite her full effort, she still can not fly. Not one to burst a child’s bubble and hey, science is not an absolute fact but just a contemporaneous summary of our understanding of what information we presently hold, I tried to reassure The Small Shouty One that perhaps it’s not her time yet to fly, or perhaps one day, she would develop a different type of superpower. The Small Shouty One didn’t really take to that idea very much and insistent vociferously that it was flying or nothing at all. I found myself wondering what superpowers I would want to have, one that would be useful for the greater good and not restricted to just serve my own gains. That pretty much ruled out the ability to sway people’s thoughts and bring on insanity in others. I never rated flying much and the ability to make muchos money do have its pitfalls. Immortality? Life lived alone would be torturous. The closest I have arrived to is borrowed from Slaveboy. Teleportation. Imagine never being late ever again. Not having to travel miles or for hours just to get to the utterly delicious samosas in Southall. But would teleportation serve the greater good? Could you physically teleport a whole nation out of a natural disaster? And if so, where to, without impacting negatively on the local environment? Would I have to practise hard at it? Like train religiously? Yet another thing you have to work at or you’ll just be shit at it. Sigh.

2. This weekend I discovered that there is a certain amount of vodka that one can consume before one loses the ability to hear. This knowledge will be useful once I remember just exactly how much that amount is.

3. That Dolly Parton is my absolute hero. And that there is no shame in wanting to look like trailer trash.

4. That I do want that Sideshow Carnival Wedding. Slaveboy, please make it happen. And can I have candyfloss?

5. That Mothering is a noble thing, but so is Fathering. And how interesting that to mother someone implies being overbearing and mollycoddling and to father someone is not much more than just being part or the procreation process.

6. That my Things To Do Before I am 40 bucket list is a defeatist way of looking at life, despite being told repeatedly by my Mum that if you do not change for the better by 40, then you are doomed, I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing significant is really going to change come April 4th 2013. Yeah, my tits might go more pendulous but Slaveboy likes the National Geographic look. Life will go on, and I’ll still have my Bonnie & Clyde adventures and I’ll still never learn when it comes to bearded men with paunches wearing tee shirts not large enough to completely cover their bellies.

7. Again, I am reminded that yaks are real, yetis are not and that hippos do not do synchronise swimming.

8. And it’s ok to find she-males attractive and to want beauty tips from drag queens.

9. Even at the ripe age of 38, it still makes me go gooey inside when someone calls me baby doll. This might expose my Stepford wife tendencies and betray my allegiance to the feminist cause but someone once told me that Stepford wives get more sex than feminists. Sounds like a Win all around to me.

10. And that not all lists need to have even numbers on them.

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